Gregorian entrance

The Lord in His infinite wisdom has chosen the feast of Pope Gregory the Great for my entrance this Saturday. I just learned that Saint Gregory the Great had a major influence on Teresa of Avila, and so I know it is good and fitting that we seek his intercession as I take this step in the way of perfection. Saint Gregory the Great, pray for us.

Taking up your cross: Lessons from Sts. Monica and Augustine

I have been anxiously awaiting the feasts of Saints Monica and Augustine this Saturday and Sunday. There is something so special about this mother and her son, which gives them a special place in my heart. Monica is my confirmation saint, whom I also refer to as my patron. And Augustine was a big influence on St. Teresa of Avila, the foundress of the Discalced Carmelite Nuns- the religious order I am entering in one week!

Although I have been confident in recent years that the Lord chose her specifically for me for a reason, I didn’t really have a good reason for choosing St. Monica as my confirmation saint at 14 years old.  I remember there were cards with saints on them that everyone was looking through in class. I think I was looking for a name that I liked, and Monica stuck out. I also saw that she was the patron of alcoholics, and apparently I already knew how much I liked the stuff ;)  When Monica was little, her parents would have her run down to the wine cellar to fetch them a bottle. She had gotten into the habit of taking little sips while she was down there. One of their servants called her out, and from then on Monica gave it up. So maybe we should pray for Monica’s intercession as I give it up to enter Carmel J

But more importantly, she is patron of wives and mothers. And I still appreciate that, because even though I may not become one in the natural sense, it is extremely important for me to become one in the spiritual sense. We can learn so much from St. Monica about marriage and motherhood; about patience, perseverance, and prayer.

Her parents arranged for her to marry a 40-year old pagan named Patricius when she was 22. He was a character. I don’t think he was the nicest to her or very faithful. And on top of it, the mother-in-law lived with them and gave Monica a hard time as well. But she stayed faithful to God’s will for her and tried to live out her vocation in love. She and Patricius had three children, Navigius, who seemed to be a good son, Augustine, who was very intelligent, and Perpetua, who joined a religious order. Monica did have the consolation of her husband converting to faith right before his death.

But there’s no rest for the weary. It was around this time that she was given yet another cross to bear. Her eldest son Augustine not only left the faith and was living in sin, but became a heretic. He moved in with a girl who bore him a child. Then, being tortured by the problem of evil, Augustine, in default of solving it, acknowledged a conflict of two principles and joined a Manichean sect that held that view.

When Augustine returned from his studies in Carthage with his concubine and son, Monica had to decide whether to let them into her home. She didn’t want to condone his Manichaeism. But she allowed them to stay after having a dream in which an angel told her that her son would be with her. When she relayed this to her son, however, he tried to convince her that the dream meant she would give up Catholicism. She quickly corrected him because the angel had said he would be with her, not the other way around.

It would be nine more years before Augustine’s conversion. And Monica continued to pray, fast, and weep on his behalf. She implored the local bishop to help her win back her son. He told her that it would be in God’s time, and finally said "go now, I beg you; it is not possible that the son of so many tears should perish."

Then Augustine wanted to move to Rome to teach rhetoric. His mother, still worried about his conversion, was determined to accompany him. He tricked her by telling her he was leaving in the morning, then took off that night while Monica was praying in the church. Did she let that stop her? Nope, she traveled on her own to Rome. And when she got there she found out her son had gone to Milan. So she went home. Just kidding! She followed him to Milan.

In the meantime, Augustine had already met the influential Bishop Ambrose. He first started listening to him speak to get ideas from his rhetoric. But then the content rang so true that Augustine started questioning his beliefs.  By the time Monica arrived, Augustine had renounced his Manichaeism, but had not yet become a Christian.

Monica became friends with Saint Ambrose, who gave her direction. She led women in prayer and in charitable works there in Milan, just as she had in North Africa. She was obedient to Ambrose’s counsel when he told her to give up certain customs practiced by Christians in Africa that were actually derived from pagan rituals.

Augustine had to undergo a period of conversion of the mind and of the will. I think of him and his inner struggle in the first reading for this Sunday’s mass:

Reading 1 Jer 20:7-9

You duped me, O LORD, and I let myself be duped;
you were too strong for me, and you triumphed.
All the day I am an object of laughter;
everyone mocks me.

Whenever I speak, I must cry out,
violence and outrage is my message;
the word of the LORD has brought me
derision and reproach all the day.

I say to myself, I will not mention him,
I will speak in his name no more.
But then it becomes like fire burning in my heart,
imprisoned in my bones;
I grow weary holding it in, I cannot endure it.

To be intellectually honest and true to his heart, Augustine necessarily was led back to Christ. I love this quote of his that characterizes the pursuit so well:

To fall in love with God is the greatest of romances, to seek Him the greatest adventure, to find Him the greatest human achievement.

As he moved towards the faith, he had to live that out in the moral dimension as well. When Augustine converted, so did his concubine of 15 years. She left their son with Augustine, and Monica arranged for her return to Carthage, where she lived out the rest of her life in a convent. My friend Mallory asked me if this woman, Augustine’s concubine, is a saint. I don’t think she’s officially declared, but she must be a saint to have that kind of docility and faith.

When Augustine finally converted, Monica felt like she had fulfilled her mission, her reason for living. She died shortly after, and Augustine went on to become a Saint and Doctor of the church.

Just think how different the church would be if these souls would have refused to take up their crosses and follow Him. If Monica had grew weary and given up hope for her son. If Augustine wouldn’t have persevered through his search for Truth. Let us take these great saints as an example. Let us think of them and seek their intercession as we take to heart this Sunday’s readings which implore us to offer ourselves as a living sacrifice, to let Christ transform us, and to take up our own crosses and follow Him. Then and only then will we truly live.

Reading 2 Rom 12:1-2

I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God,
to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice,
holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship.
Do not conform yourselves to this age
but be transformed by the renewal of your mind,
that you may discern what is the will of God,
what is good and pleasing and perfect.

Gospel Mt 16:21-27

Jesus began to show his disciples
that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer greatly
from the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes,
and be killed and on the third day be raised.
Then Peter took Jesus aside and began to rebuke him,
"God forbid, Lord! No such thing shall ever happen to you."
He turned and said to Peter,
"Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me.
You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do."

Then Jesus said to his disciples,
"Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself,
take up his cross, and follow me.
For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world
and forfeit his life"
Or what can one give in exchange for his life?
For the Son of Man will come with his angels in his Father's glory,
and then he will repay all according to his conduct."

Breaking the alabaster jar

After a beautiful send-off from my DC friends, and my parents coming to romantically scoop me up and bring me home, I am here now in Bloomington. But I can't say the same for my cell phone- somehow it didn't make the cut. My roommates have all my clothes now, so you guys might as well keep the phone too! (Just kidding, please send ASAP. I may need to detach from the things of the world, but not yet.) It's a month away- my entrance date is September 3rd. I am both anxious to enter Carmel, and looking forward to this time with family and friends before entering. As I was researching St. Teresa of Avila this afternoon, who I will be presenting to the Dead Theologians Society at St. Pat's of Merna this Sunday, I ran accross this video on the vocation to the cloistered life.



I wanted to share it, because I think this young lady says it better than I can. And I love the reference to Mary Magdalene, who has had a pround impact on me and whose feast we celebrated on July 22nd. Her feast day came at an important time for me, because I think last month I had been feeling particulary unworthy of the call which I am pursuing. But Mary Magdalene shows us that love covers a multitude of sins. A week later, we celebrated her sister Martha's feast day, who is known as the one who served our Lord. This feast day again had perfect timing, as this was the day that not only I was packing up to move, but all my roonmates were moving to a new house as well. We were indeed being Marthas and cleaning ALL the things.



As I grew tired of cleaning all the things,


I thought about how Jesus didn't scold Martha because she should have been at His feet like Mary. He scolded her because instead of focusing on Jesus and humbly accepting God's will for her with a joyful heart, she was worried about what others were doing and upset that Mary wasn't helping her. Little did she know that Mary was right where she was supposed to be, and so was she. So here I am in the world praying for the grace to be generous of what He asks of me this month. But I for one can't wait to break open that alabaster jar for my Lord if that is that is His will for me.